really bonkers

i'm trying hard to think. really very very hard. but all i think of is the fact that i might go blank, that very instant in the exam hall.

i'm very nervous. i've got 3 papers tomorrow. GP paper 1 at 8am. GP paper 2 at 10.15am. geography paper at 2pm. in between if u really calculate, i 've got only another hour in between to prepare my paper.

suddenly i feel like i have no boyfriend. i feel like boyfriend has disappeared. it's a very scary feeling. darling, please come back soon. i'm not very strong. be my pillars.

fei fei makes me think of you. i've chucked him somewhere in a corner where i can hardly see him. it's a very cruel thing to do to him. but i'm afraid i might just cry. i already feel like. i can no longer differentiate the feeling of missing you and stress for exams. it might be a fusion of both. but rationally, i cannot think properly already.

sometimes, if u really think, it's stupid to pay $400++ for this stupid exam which will cause you much paranoia. then again, it's stupid to think this way. OH WELL, life's like that.


& baby, i really really hope, during this time, u would just give me all the time you have, to get me through this instead of facing DOTA and CALL OF DUTY4, and WARLOCKS the whole day. if you could, you'll have no idea, how much more i'll appreciate you.
i love you honey. hope you'll come back from field camp soon.