)(*&^%$#@!

throbbing headaches, fever, exam at 8am tomorrow, all constitues to sympathetic figure, that i am now.

i feel like jelly. and my head feels very disproportionately heavy at the top. i feel as if i'm feeling; when onlooking a child with hydrocephalus. No, i feel more like i'm down with that condition.

feeling so angry, so frustrated that i am not finishing everything and still slept for more than half the day. i wonder what would become of me the next few days. my faith is dwindling, yet i know i cannot give up at this moment in time. and kaiwei's midnight call to me has made me feel better. thanks friend. (:

thereafter, i cried. as i emphatise upon my own situation. its an irony in itself. still, i cried my lungs out, i cried till the headache became much worse, i cried till had no more tears; i could have torn myself apart.

i wish my darling could be here to hold my being together, accompany me, watch me study without playing his game. i know this may be very selfish, but i want you at my disposal.

i know, it's ridiculous. who am i to force you make that sacrifice, so overboard, so selfish, so not-understanding? i wish i had been a better girlfriend.

& i know, crying isnt a solution. but, it seems the most feasible thing to do when i'm all alone in the room, mugging weakly, hoping he could be there... ...