it's a few days more

miss yeo cancelled our session. thus, i dont have to go school. however, i decided to wake up early and meet laura and guys at raffles place to study at coffee bean.

i took wei wei out for breakfast first. had porridge. yum yum! and something hilarious happened between my brother and i. he actually thought some malay girl was my friend and said hi to her. SO MALU can! haha. then we kept laughing. met laura in raffles at around 12.30 if i wasnt wrong. studied till 4.15pm, laura and i went to tampines because we were getting sth. and stayed there to study until our friend joined us. (:

was a long ride home, and there was this lady who was so irritating who commanded that we keep our voices low in the ride. then she kept clicking her tongue and 'sshhhhhh' us. i was so angry i wasnted to shout in her face man. luckily she knew i wasnt someone to be trifled with. WHAT THE FUCK. who is she to control me anyway?

went home. slept rather late. i wished i was given more time in a day.
& i didnt talk much to honey. he seemed busy nowadays. sigh, army boys.

it's not random thoughts

ive gone over asia a thousand times, travelled a little far north into the continent. But now,

i really wanna go west and south.

&whether i run into a plane accident is another issue, really.

i had a dream *

dreamt about rui xing and myself again. this time, i kept waking up and returning to the dream multiple times, and each time, wanting a change for the tragic ending, my sleep is continuously disturbed.

the start of dream: rui xing and i fell in love with each other, and our occupation is that we are assassinators. sometimes he is somebody who works as a secret agent and i the hostage after we fell in love, or i am the "V.I.P" whom the other party is looking for and wants my life while rui xing's job is to protect me.

body of dream: a lot of killing and running away.

the ending: i gave myself up to save rui xing's life. or i am the hostage, rui xing managed to save my life and in the end he got shot, or i got shot and died, rui xing also killed himself
.
.
.
.
there was one that i hated most... :( that i realised rui xing actually 'fell in love with me' just to get close and find out what he needs in his mission, thereafter, i left him. and i surrendered myself to the enemy because i was so heart broken and my life is so worthless. rui xing saw me when he was combating with the enemy he was so shocked. he looked sorry and regretful of what he has done, and after i was killed, he lived his life in pathetic sorrow and pain and guilt and wished i am still alive, maybe he would have had feelings for me. -_-''

what a stupid dream. and it stoopidly disturbed my sleep for another extra 2 hours. and i still feel sleepy my god. Ohhhhhhhh!!! save me!

what was funny was a random detail that was SO RANDOMLY INCLUDED in my dream. i saw alot of the tissue packet brands that kai wei uses. HAHAH!!!

gave kai wei sweets. the slowpoke took so long to reach. i could have done one more math question. idiot. long legs still walk so slowly......... RAWR!!!!!

woke up and met laura and yi ting to study. i now know how to do some binomial distribution!

BUT, somehow, it's just disturbing to know that time is running out. i wished i've been doing this earlier. but it's okay. i'm just gonna do what i can in such limited time. it's a test of my wits and smartness. of course, even a genius would fall short what is expected of himself in a limited time frame. i'm not saying i am the genius. but i'm close to it (:

honey called only at around 10.20pm where it's already lights out at 10pm today. i cant tell him about my dream , except that i told him he used me in the dream. and he replied, " i'll never make use of you" that made me feel good.

and called about his application for the pilot. hope the person settles it soon. (:
Honey, i miss you like crazy =D

turnaround

i went to school today! for consultation in geography. thereafter for maths. i caught this teacher, who could answer my questions in maths by the name of mr oun sth sth.... quite a fun guy. but i couldnt get my own math teacher. what's worse, is that she, said she's not free at all because she's fully booked. but mentioned we could try our luck to catch her when she's waiting for other students. wtf. she still have a long way to go before she could be labelled a caring teacher. i mean, how could you reject a student's cry for help in the face of a levels so desperately wanting help? and not like she goes home at 10pm or something. hello, Miss S*** the principal dont even mind staying till 10 pm to give tutorials on econs. chanced upon a candy sale in school. they arent' cheap. Leroy, my secondary school junior who came YJ claims these sweets are imported from USA. especially the candy canes, they're just so nice!
and i grabbed a lollipop. it's for charity purposes. for some vietnam kids. so i sort of did a kind deed. HAHA.
AND LAURA ACTUALLY BOUGHT 5 CANDY CANES, $10!!!

thereafter, went studying. with laura, of course. till around 7pm something. and i went to toa pAYOH to get the math ten year series i so badly wanted & RESERVED IT. just in case it gets sold out. HAHA. bought a herbal chicken for dinner. YUMMY.

AND my honey called at 9.35pm. was showering. so called him back. he had his favourite night snacks ! brownies and some cup cake thingy. and joked about everything in fours is a 成语。because he said i 佳人有约。Then he said " darling, my chinese good or not? " THEN I LAUGHED SUPER LOUD. i dont know why i laughed too, bt 佳人有约 did not sound like 成语 to me. anyway, it just makes me laughed.
SO i TRied VERY HARD TO BE ' POETIC' and said 非常好吃。and we LAUGHED BIG TIME. then i continued being cheeky, and said 你的很小！你是白痴！。。。。。。。！！！“好说！好说！” hahahaha!

LAME! SO LAME! AND he continued saying a couple of 'cheng yu' with any random 4 words. it was so fun! greatest moment on earth! HAHAA!

i'm sorry honey for not remembering to call the SAF to arrange a medical checkup for you. i'll keep it in mind. i understand how you feel exactly. really. (:

very soon, darling has to go sleep, so good night.
***** he changed 'pattern' tonight', like every other nights, he would try to be romantic with his words, today he sent, "Say how much i love you, it's more than words, then i dunno already, lol, good night."

to refine whatever shit he's saying, it would be, " To express how much i love you would be beyond what words alone can describe. i dont know how to continue anymore, sorry baby, that i'm not good with all these sweet talk; laugh out loud, i know i am not romantic by saying this. Anyway, good night. "

HAHAHAHAHHAHA, I SWEAR THAT'S WHAT HE MEANT.

what a cute boyfriend i have i swear. (:
took some pict with dad. my super cute boyfriend no.2! --NO TEETH!
WITH SOME TEETH
AND HE FINALLY, SMILED PROPERLY WITH HIS MINI TEETH! but mine's whiter! HAHA
AND DAD GOT BIG LOBEY EARS! like laughing buddha's HAHA.

purturbed

THIS IS BOYFRIEND WITH HIS NEPHEW. AWWW, HE LOOKS SO FATHERLY!

woke up very early at 9am. and darling and i played games, and ate the marks and spencers biscuit he bought on offer, yeah, specially for me. he's such a cheapo kid. but to be fair to him, even those on discount aren't cheap so yeah, i forgive you.

honey, i know you tried all you can to make me happier. but it's all material. it does not fill me up spiritually. all i really want is that you, be willingly take a happy picture with me. one that is not initiated by me. one that you want to take because you understood what i need and what i want and because of me, you take it. i dont want one that is forced and the very stagnant and heavy feelings of dread; and it only takes 5 seconds of your cooperation. it wouldnt even seem wasting time at all if you learn to enjoy it. it'll then be quality time!

so dont push me away, or 'dodge' like what you claim. i'm not a biting dog. i'm tamed and mannered. i deserve respect like every normal beings do.

went to his house, played some games. saw his eldest sister and his 2 nieces and a one month old nephew! took a little picture for him. so cute i swear! so fatherly!

AND SOMEBODY USED MY PICTURE AS HER FUCKING PROFILE PICTURE. SHE IS A DAMNED RETARD WHO PROBABLY IS WORSE THAN A HERMIT BECAUSE THEY AT LEAST DARE TO SHOW THEIR FACES EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE UGLY. AND THEY DONT POSE AS OTHER PEOPLE BUT THIS 'KIND GIRL' HERE, BETTER TAKE AWAY MY PICTURE SOON! damn angry man. without my permission! and go around adding people asking for their blog address! she's stupid and lowly and despicable. and most important question of all, why my picture? if this person is my friend, and you're doing this, please get it off otherwise u're not my friend anymore. i dont likE what you're doing. NOT AT ALL.

THE POSEUR -- click on this link.

then sent him off to pasir ris. no time for x zone. had some hong kong cafe food. looks and tastes platable. but the desserts arent worth the price though. darling. * **** *** (: you know. i don't have to spell it all out.

i have some transport luck. i dont have to wait for anything. but, honey's going away for 2 whole weeks. again. i'll miss you alot.

and bitch, i hope you die soon. like really soon. my life would be happier. you're getting more obnobxious by the second. and soon it'll be milisecond. i'll offer to wash clothes myself in case you think that i need you around. NO, I DON'T. because you're the root of our troubles. and you're not welcomed at all.

outing day

bling bling christmas tree. honey, where are you in this?

played alot of games. arcade, laptop little fighter and Psp.

had Sarpinos. thank you honey for satisfying my wants.

but, in the end, we never got to take the happy picture together

-which i needed so badly for your extra week of abscence, and that emotional support i so badlty needed for it during A's.. of which, you never seem to understood.

almost his last..

my pilot-to-be on his stimulator. (:

woke up at 9.30 am to get prepared for pasir ris. i was sooooo early. i reached at 11am but honey isnt out yet! he only reached about 45mins later, in the meanwhile, i tried to refresh my memory for my differentiation and integration. but i could say i totally suck at it.

he arrived a while later. and so, we went to pizza hut in tampines mall to eat! and i had a chicken supreme. while rui xing's bunk mates, ordered 2 pizzas. one hawaiian and a tom yum flavour one, with a house platter consisting of potato something, calamari, wings. and they even ordered extra 2 servings of wings which in total they have 16 altogether. =.= . my gosh.

thereafter, we went to popular to get my ten yaer series. but they still dont have it. and we went to Yamaha. it suddenly struck me that darling may get me a cheap violin as a present. because i would like to master it. a clarinet and a flute would be ideal but the cheaper ones cost $700 at least and for my standards, a cheap clarinet wouldnt make me feel good at all. i would want at least a $4000 one! but then again, $10 000 can get me a grand piano. so i guess i would wait. for my grand.

shopped for chocolates and stuff for him.

slept when we went back. and went to sleep. HAHA. Woke up finally and then we proceeded to causeway point to splurge on a $20 in the arcade. then went home.

sorry honey that im such a bad player. but u bullied me in the game. i'm not happy. :(

crazy days

WHY MUST EVERYTHING BE LEFT TO ME TO DO IT?

honey must have a hard time, he only called at 10.30pm. i heard he got hell lot of 'tekan sessions' and lots of 'shit' to do. nevertheless, he talked to me for about 15mins past time before turning in. (:

-dont worry, you're coming out soon darling.

Online Shoping

Hey girls! i'm so encouraging online shopping, so i've put up a list of LIVEJOURNAL sites on the sidebars titled "LET'S GO SHOPPING" to direct you there! go see, and they're really pretty stuff. (:

i've even indicated when they have last updated their blogs, so you know when to visit them again!

harsh weathers

HAPPY BIRTHDAY long long(cousin)!

today was rather dry. woke up by numerous sms-es and my loud 'sexyback' message alert tone just kept ringing and ringing. and all these was worsened when there were abdominal pains from a possible diarrhoea.

i had to wake up and get the shit out of me.

i think the diarrhoea had been triggered by the cold weather. already i did not on the fan last night. still, the cold winds blow like a catergory 5 hurricane on the saffir-simpson scale. i wriggled under the blanket, still, there lack a warmth which i didnt derive from him that night. the indifferent and unsettling attitude he gave reminds me of the many failed relationships, of which i hate and will still continue to live in the shadows of the very yesterdays; i wished he had been happy or make me feel loved before we put down the phone.

why the blackout? you could have been happier.

i'm sorry that i'm overly contumacious, but i was merely intent on making you laugh. maybe you did in the very end, but i was certain that you could laugh louder. & a pity i failed in doing so; & what becomes of my mission in life?

still bothered.

headed down to SP and ate in foodcourt 6. the usual japanese food. and i'm sick of it. had a chat with tadmidzie when we saw him. and a couple of minutes later, yixian was released from her class. went to dhoby ghaut for our purpose.

visited Daiso since the day was young. roamed around and i didnt get my cheap bag and pencil stand. still i brought back 2 cans of yummy tuna and a compact mirror measuring approximately 10 by 8 centimetres.

i hate going home alone. why alone when i am supposed to have a companion? but i'm gonna tolerate all these till boyfriend comes out of the army. two years seems a long wait, but if u think deeper, it's relatively short to the amount of time i'm willing to spend with him for the rest of my lifetime. what he thinks i really have no idea, but i just want to be true to myself and devote everything i can for him. whether he appreciates is another issue. of course the hopes are hanging high, but if it falters, it'll be just another romantic tragedy in my biography. and if that really happens, what will i do?

and i thought alot about my life. it really appears wretched to me. my innate preference would of course, be one that is sanguine. but to be pragmatic, my life is littered with boulders and obstructed with 10000 Himalayas on the way, which untimately end up in The Great Canyon where i've got plenty of place to hide and cower in self pity and tear, enough to fill the canyon with rivers again.

and i thought, if i were to fail my A's, where would i go? be a lowly paid civil servant? carry on learning music so i could be a pricate tutor? get my relatives to sponsor me overseas to pursue a degree just like many of my friends? or just work as a salesperson for the rest of my life?

the most favourable of my options would be the overseas degree. but i have loads of concern. i would miss my family. i would miss my friends. and how do i keep boyfriend? do i breakoff with him? or do i let it stay that way? would i be able to accept if he can't stand the loneliness and hooks up with another or would he just walk out of my life? the many uncertainties left me tearing.

thereafter, when i reached my stop in woodlands, i held back my tears, and went to take the bus.

& i actually forgot i need a ten year series for my h1 math.

i was very disturbed with myself going nowhere. i think i'm not bright enough to even scrape through my vocation. Jaycee was a very wrong choice, and to repeat it was an unforgivable mistake. i wonder if my boy would still love me with such limited intelligence and poor discipline. without a rule in my life, even i myself discredit my crooked doings and juvenile conduct.

& what's most disgraceful and reprehensible is the fact that i am not helping myself. still wasting time blogging and going out.

but understand that i need an avenue to voice my thoughts out when friends aren't enough to listen my heavy grunts. and the weight which is weighing me down is enough to tear me apart anytime soon. what is holding the flesh together probably is a larger force given by your limited support and latent hopes that there's a silver lining to everything.

the talk with boyfriend today saved me. telling him i cried, and he gave me hope. what i really need now aren't dressing downs but safe lies that you betray yourself to make me feel good. maybe if you're a friend you would. and as a worthy boyfriend he did. i think he knows i couldnt make it. there are some things that are better left unsaid & some things that you're reluctant to say you must.

i'm pulling myself together so dont cut the strings yet. and baby, you really know how to say all the things i want to hear and viceversa. Thank you.

ineverwanttowalkalone, sopleasedontleaveandgoaway.

DARLING!

I don't know why okay, but for now,

i miss you terribly.

o.O

went to novena to study. when i went there, i went to buy a drink! then when i went back, on the table, there sat a present! HAHAS! THANKS KEITH! it was some precious moments jewellery box.
=p

he taught me how to do differentiation application questions! i sort of got the hang of it. haha. thanks! and pasta mania for dinner.

talked to honey. his bunk got a blackout. and he was in a bad mood. i dont know what is the real reason either, it's alot of things when i asked him. i feel sad too, because you're not happy. i dont know how to tell you how i feel anymore, just know whatever it is,

i do love you.

KAI WEI AND I

KAI WEI ! YOU ARE THE BLACKER ONE, THE BUNNY! AND I AM THE SCHOOL GIRL. hahaha! u got a big tummy there!

论文

所谓 ：“无仇不成父子，无冤不成夫妻”。

这言语确实是句句属实，根本没有丝毫的差错。而我与瑞兴的感情也是从逗逗嘴皮子而发展的。向当时的情况真的是又可笑又微妙。我为了当时不珍惜它给我的好，温柔体贴，善解人意以及温顺有礼的态度而感到万分亏欠，自责。

在给我一次机会的话，

我还是会一样的对你，要不然，我那儿会想像现在这样，对你如此的温柔呢？　（：

几天前，我还梦到我们结婚呢！我真是的！想太多了！哈哈！

MY BIRTHDAY!

Pei Ru says: happy birthday to me, i am born in the zoo, with the monkeys and lions, happy birthday to me!

my birthday, it's no big deal. but it's SOMETHING when people remembers you (:

Mr yee
unfortunately Mr Yee is unable to book out, however, he said at 10.30pm yesterday, that he's not gonna wake up to wish me a happy birthday. but guess what! that was a plot! a scheming boyfriend i have! i think his plan was to wake up at 12 sharp. however he failed though hahas, he only woke at 2 something to say....

Swee Hin says, " Happy Birthday honey! sorry honey i tried to wake up but i guess i failed. lol"but im really happy enough that he wanted to give me a surprise! and he also thought of opening a Macdonalds birthday party for me! I WAS DAMN ELATED. of course, because of NS, he couldnt materialise it for me. BUT I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND u know. (: i'll have it someday. my childhooddream (:

thanks honey. even though u arent able to come out to celebrate with me. i knew you will if you could. AND THANKS YOUR BUNKMATES FOR BEING SOOOoooo nice! i'm killing them when they come out! except for alex who played me a birthday tune. how sweet! (:

Kai Wei & Jia Min & Shuai Quan!
we had dinner in Crystal Jade! I GOT MY PRESENTS, MY BATH AND BODY WORKS CREAMY SHOWER WASH FROM US! especially kai wei & jia min for getting me what i so badly wanted. of course, with the help of Ricky for his timely trip to US for my Bath&BodyWorks and Victoria'sSecret.& I COULDNT IMAGINE COUSIN SHUAI would be there too!

so kai wei was supposed to collaborate with yixian. so kai wei sms shuai quan saying that she's gonna get a cake! THEN SHUAI DUMBOLY SAY THAT, "why u sms me?!"

then this is how they gave their secret away. hahahaha! KAI WEI AND JIA MIN! WE'RE IN CRYSTAL JADE there's all my prezzies from US! wahahaa! see, its from the wishlist i drawn out! even Ricky said it smelt so nice he almost didnt want to give them to me. hahas! dear cousin! threesome! (: the usual toilet camwhores! i think i grown fat.the three musketeers who celebrated my birthday for me!

Yi Xian!
when i thought my birthday was over, when shuai quan kept complaining he's tired, YIXIAN CAME!

I LOVE MY CAKE! I LOVE YOU TOO! thanks for everything tonight! (:

& IT WAS SO SURPRISING THAT EUGENE CAME TOO! AND WISHED ME HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

so i got a free ride home. supposed to lie to darling that i am with eugene ONLY. but that smart ass guessed that everybody's around. hahas. THE MANGO CAKE THE CAKE BUYER! THE BIRTHDAY GIRL! (:i wish....

Everyone!
thanks to everyone who wished me (mostly my JC friends!) (: you are on your way to collecting more good karma! hahas!

ginny thanks for you call! (:

& alot of unknown numbers. not that i dont have your numbers, just that because i changed phones! so i apologize if i dont know your number initially! hahas

Pui Kheng & Jing Jing!
puikheng's was a few days ago, i wished her and she wished me back! haha! the annual exchange! haha. so is the one with Jing Jing!

Patrick Ng
this idiotic star fish received my card! and thanks for bothering to sms me from aussie! (: not like it's the first time but HAHA! i received the thoughts. (:

Smarter Child
darling! i told smarter child its my birthday today and he says he'll remember! hahas.

Stupid Wei Hao & i demanded my younger for a birthday wishing. as you can see from the picture, it says

Peiru, " EH, WHERE'S MY BIRTHDAY MESSAGE?"
wei Hao, " wait, just log in"
"HAPPY B'DAY LAO JIE UR OLDER BY 1 YR HOPE U DUN GET WRINKLES ^^"

i was like (*&^%$#@#$%^&*&^%$#@#$%^&*&^%$#@>>>>>>!

HAHAHAHAHAHAS! then i went into the kitchen to get food. he screamed into my face and said
' OH MY GOD! WRINKLES! "

hahaha. stupid brother. he suck. and i almost died on the spot.

Big brother & girlfriend

whereas for my Elder Brother, his girlfriend says i'm gonna get a big surprise, and i'm supposed to be damn touched. i have a feeling he's gonna buy the Issey Miyake perfume for me. but then again, it might not be so for he's such a poor cad. poor as in financially stripped. not poor as in poor thing.

but she could get a 20% discount from where she's working, i think i have some hope in them. or worse come to worse, my brother would spend $2 in an arcade and get me a gigantic hello Kitty from the soft toy machines. i would blame him for being cheapo even then, because nobody else i know can catch even a something from that machine which will end up eating hundreds of a dollar.

try my luck! (: end of the month. hehs.

Yee Koon & Jessica!
i'm really sorry that i've been turning you guys down for the whole of this year. but rest assured that after A levels i'll catch up with you guys!

they asked me out this morning, but i wasnt able to since i'm already meeting kai wei and jia min to Fish&co. (: how nice of them to still remember after soooo loooong !

thanks jessica for calling to wish me! it was special (:

I GOT DIARRHOEA ON MY BIRTHDAY. I SHITTED 3 TIMES IN AN HOUR ALREADY. GOOD TIMING! haha.

more to come, more to come. (: presents! presents! from brother! & of course, the postponed celebration with yee koon and jessica & the one with my baby. (:

DARLING, I HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN MY SHARE FROM YOU. (:

（：

i got my agnes b purse! yay! hahas! went to city hall first before going to study.

Went studying with keith and yi ting! hahas! it was cool because the food court there had pepper lunch. yummy! (:

and we talked practically the whole day. did a few questions. i thought my maths was bad enough. but it turned out that yiting's was worse. so i ended up teaching her. LOL.

wth!

they bought alot of donuts. so i earned (:i ATE half a double chocolate. mmm... nice!

and sorry honey, that i was so distracted when i was talking to you and had to answer their questions at the same time. sorrry! i knew you will understand me. hehs.
i love you.

BOOK IN DAY!

woke up damn late today. at around 2.30pm.

played arcade again. hehs. but the army boys came in a little too late to play with me. sad.

was thinking about the weird dream i had today.

　你们也为什么那么愚昧弃我而去？但日后又后悔当日不怜惜.
我曾被他爱, 但也曾被他伤. 但为什么还留恋那最后的温柔?

book out day.

honey came out at 11.30am. i was late, because was talking to my dad.

12 double chocolate for people! but sad that his friends arent there to eat. so ling xia and wen liang ate 2 each. good for them! clear my doughnuts!

ate burger king. arcade! there's this super fun modified bishi bashi game. i love it so. gonna play it tomorrow again! again! went to the supermarket to get food stuffs! wow. darling, you have a big diet! and we bought this gatsby deodorant for $8.50. i suggested it. because i couldn't stand the pungent smell of those $3.00++ cheapo ones. it stinks much more than a skunk would be. when darling looked like he didnt like the idea, he was like "老婆都讲不香了，那里还要？"

HAHAAHAHHA. so pleasing to my ears!

then i took it a little further. he cant hold my hand when he's in uniform, otherwise it's not 'respectful' to his uniform. so i went

"sigh, my hands so delicate and smooth, a pity somebody cant even touch it"
he was like "chey, who cares!"
i was so shocked! hahas! i didnt know he'd be so cheeky! then he replied

"SIGH! my hands so strong and manly! A PITY SOMEBODY CANNOT HOLD IT!"
=.= '''

haha. cheeky boy! i shall spank you!

home. slept. ate macs for dinner. boring!

yay!

argh! i'm supposed to meet this lady for the purchase of my thing online, SHE DIDNT REPLY ME AT ALL.... ARGH! so much for a legally binded transaction!

nevertheless, i met kai wei today! yay! i needed it man. really.

our first stop was Jack's Place. the service sucks totally. we went there. and waited for 10 minutes. still nobody came to get us seated. even as the waiters saw us, they pretended not to see us. not even initiate to get somebody else to atend to us. the closlaw was too sour. the garlic bread was too cold. =.=. super bad experience.

okay, following, we just went shopping for clothes. kai wei was the biggest spender of the day. buying alot of clothes, but it's not all hers. there was a few pieces which looked really lovely. but there's a serious problem with the proportion of my body.

short legs.
flabby arms.
huge thighs.
scarred knees.
blemished cheeks.
small eyes.
huge face
hairy body.

okay, guys, just look at the highlightes ones. hahas. the others arent a problem at all. anyway, i'm still loved (:

and dinner was pudding milk tea, and shilin's oyster mee sua and the XXL Chicken chop thing.(:

entertainment of the day was mario-kart racing and throw-coloured-balls-at-the-screen game in the arcade of suntec's. To make a long story short,

I HAD FUN.(: THANKS KAI WEI. *MUACKS*

& baby, i'm sorry that you've sprained your ankle. hope it gets well soon. i think we have a common fate --our legs are simply unfortunate these days.
BUT DONT WORRY, u'll get your usual dose of choco-therapy. I'VE GOT 12 DOUBLE CHOCOLATE. heart, just for you (:

cant' sleep,

my body clock is going totally heywire. it's 7am and i'm not sleeping yet. just like yesterday. =.=

so, i decided to write something i know about myself. i knew this long ago, but somehow, i think alot of people is oblivious to it. so here's it..

PeiRu, is good at making friends. damn good.
but she can't keep them (:

because i don't bother. Not that people aren't important. but it's only those special ones whom i bother to keep up with. come to think of it, i've let quite a number of people down already. i wonder how many best friends i can keep. i used to have ALOT. but it's down to just a handful now. (note, 'handful' is still quite a significant number.)

it's tiring and moolah draining to keep 'best friends' because socialising is very important. but then again, if you think again, 'best friends' need nothing to keep. they'll just keep coming to you, it doesnt need anything but true friendship to stay. there's no need to go out everyday, spend on dinners to keep up, sacrifice studying time to 'socialise'.

that's why kai wei is the one (:
&that's why i love her so.

at home again

okay, here the bad news for the day.

i missed my geography mock test!

how how?! i've enjoyed my sleep, i slept till 5pm since 7am. my test was at 9 am. i woke up with 6 missed calls and A LOT( when i say a lot, i mean it.) of messages from laura and yi ting.

'it's okay' i tell myself. then the angel in my subconcious would ironically, shout in a never-before devilish manner "NO! U IDIOT! WHY DIDNT YOU F'!IN GET YOUR ASS UP FOR SCHOOL?! IT'S JUST 3 HOURS STUPID!"

okay. i got my desserts for not going to school. end of chapter. time to start a new one.

and so, i decided to give myself some quality time. & what i really need, is a day out, for a walk.

because my spine is breaking. if i dont go out soon, i'm gonna suffer, maybe wheelchair bound for the rest of my life if i'm lucky enough.

the above are seriously not hyperbolic. for all i know, it may just happen. so to avoid having to spend my life on the wheelchair, my best friend, kai wei has come to my rescue. credit to my cousin as well, as he was the one who wanted us to pick a scent for him.

i already have some in mind. i was about to suggest orchard. but this cheapo kid wanted Mustafa, he said it's gonna be cheaper. but i really doubt the authencity my dear. not that i can guarantee those in orchard are not the looted ones, but at least the place itself, we should render some faith in it.

oh! and Kaiwei got me, or rather, ricky got me 3 tubes of bath and body works, and 3 tubes of vICtoria secrets FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BIRTHDAY GIRL IN 5 DAYS, AND THAT'S MOI! WAHAHAHHA.I CAN SMELL MY PRESENT ALREADY. I WONDER WHAT SCENT THEY GOT ME?!

and before we slept, this is our conversation
he said, "okay honey, i'm going to sleep now, good night! love ya!"
"Darling, say louder!"
" i love you"
"Darling, say LOUDER!"
"I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!"
"nOOOOO! SAY , LOUDER!"
"louder"
HAHA, he FINALLY GOT IT!

(: i'm not naughty. i'm nice.

:(

i've just completed my 5th essay, yes, at 5.53am. now. and i'm having a mock paper in 3 hours time, which goes to say i have less than 2 hours of sleep. do i even intend to you may ask.

OF COURSE! I AM FUCKING TIRED! ...

of academia, of almost everybody, of life.

and i was left to do some thinking. random stuffs surfaced in my whirl of thoughts. of which, one that left the most impact was how romantic my love life was...

伤心欲绝。痛哭流涕。磨齿难忘。刻苦铭心。

情为何物？
只叫人生死相许。

但我这伴侣又从何找？何时才找得到？瑞兴，你是他吗？

there was a time, 2 times in fact, where i almost stopped believing in you. but you forgave me for doubting you. your magnanimity, is something i will never possess. darling, why must you be so superior? you make me feel worthless, just as you have made me feel valuable. you have brought us to a whole new level, but the problem is, i've not ascended to what is expected of me. &what's worse, i'm not helping myself.

-sinking deeper into the abyss.

maplefriends

i slept at 7.30 am this morning. cool &woke at 5 pm. well done! hahas. my friend has gone missing today. kai wei, u didnt come online!LOL

darling, i created this using some software. so this is ruixing88 in army camo attire with a rifle. and me, i'm peiru89, a jc kid holding a pencil. aren't we cute?

=.=. and this reminds me of ' you are here '. what the hell right?! hahas.

okay. i had fun with you, pantyliner.

this is how it goes, because he says he want to be carefree, and carefree=pantyliner. but my darling asks, "not tampon? not kotex?!''

and i'm supposed to pronounce kotec instead of kotex.

these shallow stuff, wont be understood to the mass. if you're reading this and think so, go away. because i'm happy. & that's what really matters. (:

so MR. carrotpantyliner, peiru89 wishes you good night. & cheers, to your improved 2.4 timing. you're 1 minute away from 9.44! & dont worry, i'll eat more to be your weight, for your weekly weightlifting practise. save the money for gym ;)

OH! finish my essays!

voice: PEI RU! IF U DONT COMPLETE THE TARGETED 5 ESSAYS BY TODAY, YEE SWEE HIN DOSENT LOVE YOU ANYMORE!

of course, our love isnt as superficial as that. but that's what i tell myself to carry on. who loves a lazy, unintelligent, shallow girl anyway? and darling, because of you, i've completed what i'm supposed to do.

of course, not to forget kai wei's never-ending nags. (: thanks friend.

talked to boyfriend for a while. boyfriend, u RO-ed since 5pm. you have to thank your book from hell, luckily u did something useful for once in your lifetime, i dont blame you for not calling me while you can.

darling, do one pull up for me. just one. I know you can do it. i shall train myself too! who are you to take everything by yourself?! u have me too!

it's the 13th, already

AS the day goes by, my heart sinks. But it's okay. my honey would be there to be my emotional support. i talked to him just for a little while. about merely 20 mins per day. sometimes, only 5 mins. But, it's all worth it right? i will wait for you man!

and i thought of our past. this, is the first time i took pictures with you, even before we got together. Those were the days....haha, are u angry or are you laughing?!

when i was younger, when he was younger, we looked like that. when we were not together yet, we were so happy. sometimes i thought if till now, we werent together, maybe you'll still always give in to me. but i was so naive. it was so wrong. you won't tolerate me for long. we must learn how to make peace. only then, we'll smile forever.

-honey, when i say you're the best thing that happened to me, i mean it. Do you remember when?

i'm sure u do. (:

book in day

HAHA.

Peiru : "You may call me Mrs Yee"
Rui Xing "I BEG YOUR PARDON?!"

hahas. our usual teasers for the day. when it happens, it's really hilarious. honey, you'll never stop making me laugh at your silly antics and responses. you're God-sent.

went to compass point. ate from the food fair. found a corner and sat and ate. (: even in these unglam moments i find romance. it's from you honey. it's your flair to create such moments. &it's why i call myself 余太太！ LOL

the first thing he did was to get a bandage for my leg. how sweet is that when i myself had forgotten about it. (:

got a top, so that i have something to wear tonight. packed stuff, shared a packet of noodles before we went out again to meet his bunkmates out. before i went away, i thought his bunk mates were too engrossed in their conversation that i decided to go away quietly not to disturb anyone.

i was happy. all of them bothered to say 'bye' .I'M TOUCHED. and i smiled.

went home, awaited for honey's call again. and watched drama till late night. ate an apple because i'm hungry.

HONEY!!!!!! MY WOUND HURTS BADLY!!! come blow my wound for me again, like how you did yesterday. it's not about blowing it. it's your very presence that make me forget about it.& for you, just to be the first to see you every other week, i dont mind falling down on a weekly basis just to hear your sexy voice and hold your fulfilling hands.

fei fei missed you so. it's been 2 weeks.

honey's 2nd bookout.

baby's coming out at 10.45am. i woke up at 9am to get prepared. i forgot a couple of things despite having trying to prepare the day before. must be the result of my lack of sleep as i was watching my drama till 6am then. so given 3 hours of sleep, it's really not advisable. because,

1. i forgot to bring his cologne for him, his mp3 charger and a set of extra clothing.
2. I fell down :(

WHO ELSE CAN BE AS LUCKY AS ME? the moment i stepped out of the bus, my legs sort of gave way, and i tripped over a mini scale step on the bus stop. PLOP! i'm on fours.

only my left hand was saved by the laptop i was holding. it saved my hand from abrasions. my knees bled. so i had to walk a distance from the blocks, to pasir ris interchange to clean my super dirty wound. it was all covered in debris and stones and dirt. luckily i had a coin to buy from the tissue dispenser from the UPGRADED TOILET. so, i was afraid to wash it. i used only tissue to clean it.

at that point of time, i only had one thing in mind.

I wished Rui Xing was there.

the remnants of ebony stones and dirt from my knee.

the result. how it looked like on sunday. i haven't fell like this and bled for years. i hate wounds. IT SUCKS.

in the evening, darling's friend jason drove a huge Lancer(i never knew it was huge to begin with, hahaha) to The Prata House in upper thomson. had some prata with ling xia, jason, ethan, sherman & wen liang. what is cool is all of them owns a license and have a car to drive! LOL. except for eh hem and eh hem. but i believe u'll make it big one day (: dont worry!

thereafter, went to yishun dam to chill. wasnt expecting so many people there. but had fun though. talked about army life, how honey and i met, joked about insignificant stuff.

there was a golf course opposite our location

their 'dragon ball' stunt. haha! hilarious!

taken by ethan. how nice (:

in the middle is a transformers logo. hahas. wth?!

he brings me around and is not at all ashamed of me. if you ask me how am i feeling, i'd tell you "you may or may not understand. but it's that kind of feeling that will make you smile from within.its a quiet kind of happiness. that only i'll know."

PS. SHOW ME CARE AND CONCERN! HAHA. I GOT INJURED 99.999% IS BECAUSE OF YOU. hahas.

-& our inside jokes simply never ends.

he made my life more meaningful. honey, you are the man.

friday,

the most unglam look. but since u're looking, you're my friend. so laugh all you want. haha.

this is my best friend, and also the richie who treated me to this. wahaha.

her sister, who shuns the camera.

what did i do?

met kai wei up for sakae sushi. she treated me. kai sin tagged along too. (: heh heh.

thereafter, supposed to play badminton but we took a little too long to write our cards for patrick so didnt go. & i talked to my honey in kai wei's house.

baby, every single time, after i put down the phone with you, i feel happy, but empty at the same time. happy that you called, and that we talked. empty the fact that you couldnt be with me as and when we like.

but "it's not what you leave behing, it's whaat you gain ahead!" HAHAHA! nice joke.

life...

..is all about choices.

on the bus ride on my way home from school, i decided to take a peep back into the past.

i shuddered.

" what if i did not agree to giving him my number? what will happen of me now?"

honey, what will i do? if not for you?

NOOO !!!

DARLING! NO! DONT GET ME SHOWER GELS! lol

The urge

oh, i want to treat my boy better, i want to get him a lappy, i want to get him more cloths (inside joke(: ) i wanna get him all the gadgets and games, and whatever he wants (: i'm making him sound like a 小白脸！ oh no! HAHAH . but no, people, my boyfriend, "什么都没有，钱最多！'' hahaha.

friends, too, will be your turn. but oh! wait till i'm working ya.

boyfriend, i dont know how else, can i make my love known to you. it seems everything is so out of proportion sometimes overly done, yet appears not enough to me. declaration of my thoughts are so worthless already, because it's a daily practice now. is this what all couples go through?

i feel more and more attached to you by the minute. i'm undivided. just, for, you.

wednesday -first week out

i couldnt stand the temptation, so i went to the nearest sweet talk to get myself a cup of bubble tea. and soon, i need some workout, because my spine is feeling the weight of my torso, and it hurts terribly now. i need to stand more. sigh.it's 10pm already, and my boy hasnt called me. i wonder what happened.

i've been thinking about the past. thought about how i treated him last time. i wish i hadnt been so hard on him.

what a lovely boy. &darling you'll always be my love.

-- he called at 10.22pm. (: just happy that he called. he's got a shave. he must have looked pretty.

Wishlist for the year (:

My Hot favorite!
1. Ralph Lauren Ralph Eau De Parfum
2. Ralph Lauren Ralph You've Got Gel shower gel
3. Ralph Lauren Ralph Scrub-A-Dub exfoliant
4.Ralph Lauren Ralph It Rocks bath crystals
5. Ralph Lauren Ralph Goodbye Dry hydrating body lotion with shimmer

these are rare items in Ralph lauren's inventory as it's out of production! my heart practically plunged. but what i need is a credit card. and i can buy online. DBS is offering 3 years waiver of the debit card fees. and so my heart waivers too. HAHA!

about $45 each

My next buy is gonna be this!
Issey Miyake L'eau D'Issey Reflections In A Drop eau de toilette! i'm gonna get my hands on it! it's a limited edition thing. awww! RAWR!
Ahhh, Lancome Miracle. all time favourites. it's the shower gel and body lotion. what can be more pampering then lathering yourself in what can cost like $0.20 per mL ?
Bath & Body Works!
here's it (from left to right, skipping repeated ones)
1. Cucumber melon -clean and crisp
2. Dancing Waters -refreshing
3. Black Amethyst -mysterious
4. Black Raspberry Vanilla -fruity and sweet
5. Japanese Cherry Blossom -musky & mature
6. Sea Island Cotton -soft & floating & soothing
7. Sparkling Peach -peachy and invigorating

$16 for 236ml. i love the creamy body washes!
Picture (from left to right) is the
1. Victoria Secrets stimulating body scrub - & Pure Seduction, the dark pink one rocks!
2. Victoria Secrets Beauty Rush Body Glimmer Wash series - &appletini the green bottle is my target next (:
3. Victoria Secrets Secret Garden series - again, pure seduction body lotion and the shower gel is my pick!
up next is
1. L'Occitane detangling conditioner with lavender essential oil
2. L'Occitane clarifying shampoo with lavender essential oil

tried it when using the sample item i got (: results were like WOW! my hair becomes tamed, extremely conditioned and dosent get oily the following day!
The ever cooling and refreshing must have in the shower
1. Davidoff cool water shower gel
2. Davidoff cool water shower breeze
ah-ha! this one is slightly cheaper, at $40 each approximately. :( but singapore barely have these in stock. our is kinda limited. in almost everything. almost everything luxurious.
lastly, Molton Brown, another indulgence outlet. (:
1. Molton Brown Intoxicating Davana Blossom shimmer lotion
2. Molton Brown Intoxicatin Davana Blossom shower satine
i prefer the shower satine, which retails at $76 here, which is effin expensive. but the indianic flowery scent lingers leaving you intoxicated. living up to it's name.

so many choices, so many good stuff, so much luxury. but most not available in singapore. what a disappointment. how could i possibly drop off my fetish for my showers? already, The Body Shop is not good enough for my expensive body. but it all comes with a hefty price. (: but i love it so.

of course, not as much as i would love my darling. A levels will end. and i'll put an end to my shower gel sufferings (: