departed from darling, from seng kang. went home. supposed to be working on my homework, but somehow, i was tempted to go to bugis with my brother because i want my containers so badly from MUJI.
ate in some bubble tea shop. they have a really wide variety of beverage, flavours and their fried rice is beyond our limits of comprehension! how could anyone make up such a platable dish?! the only regret was that only elaine's plate had prawn inside it and my brother's and mine have none. :(
was walking around BHG, some china company who took over whatever company was before BHG in bugis. after the lunch with elaine, brother and i (i had to call him darling because he thinks me calling him 'kor kor' is awkward! lol) so darling and i went around bugis junction to pass time until elaine's break.
walking around to pass time was probably a mistake. it wasnt until i got so tempted to hear, ralph lauren's ralph shower gel and scrub was the last one they have and it's discontinuing. so. WHAM! i had to fork out $96 next week to pick up my new baby. (:
darling was also gonna get a parfum soon.
i think my perfume spree rubbed off on elaine, she ended up getting lanvin's new fragrance dual pack, with it's moisturiser (for layering of fragrance effect) which costs slightly cheaper than what i'm getting $92.
wastrels. a bunch of us.
and laura called me just to say "hey! there's an outlet in great world city selling bath and body works range! costs $32!" i was like, forget it. anyway my friend's migrating there soon. i shall get him to buy for me if i ever need it. martin, i'm counting on you. not that i fancy the idea you're migrating there. i'll miss you, and those times we've had in YJC, out very not-so-frequent meetups, but know that, you are one person who had an impact in my life. maybe you do not know. but i'm telling you now, that you do (:
bought my container. but MUJI ran out of stock because it was sooooo popular a size. too bad for me then. so much for wanting so badly to go buy it. :( and my darling (real one) is so tied up with work, hardly have time for me. NEH -MIND!
in the end, i didnt pick him up. and he, wasn't in the least affected. he didn't really mind. or put it in a not-so-nice manner, he didnt really care. he rather watch the show by the hong kong twins. i shall retreat back into my room. SO MUCH FOR STAYING SO RELIGIOUSLY IN MY LIVING ROOM WAITING TO CALL HIM BACK ON HIS PATHETIC HANDPHONE WHICH BURNS IN BARELY 3 MINUTES UPON USAGE.
bye.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Saturday, July 26, 2008
school was soooo damn boring.
throughout the day, i was only thinking of 2 things.
1. can i make it in time for martin's concert?
2. will he make it for the concert?
i was so troubled, and throughout the whole day, i keep telling myself that i won't let martin down, i will not disappoint him. so right after school. i really ran. in only 20 mins, i reached home instead of the usual 40 mins. 3 mins for running from school to mrt (usual 13 mins) , 8 mins for train(usual 13 mins) , 9 mins for bus(usual 14mins) . the amazing thing is, god was helping me. there wasn't any need to wait for the buses or train at all. it must be because He knew how important this was to me. and i know how martin is important to me. and as i read his blog earlier, he seemed so helpless. he said ".who are those that really be there with me?
DangShi....Gangyi...Zhixiang...Peiru....nothing comes close, but where are they now? They are totally out of my life."
i am not. i was just away for a little while. i was never out of your life martin(: u just didn't see me. i was in the crowd, but u never called my name. but i was there all along. (:
in the end, i was late. 30 mins. because i rushed to get martin his flowers. and i was so broke i couldnt take a cab. i dont understand why he could be late too. but anyway, what's over is over. i'm sorry for flaring up at you.
and thanks for coming to martin's concert, the white musk body polish -- a wish seed i planted 2 weeks ago sprouted.
KFC FOR DINNER. catch-up with martin? other day maybe
throughout the day, i was only thinking of 2 things.
1. can i make it in time for martin's concert?
2. will he make it for the concert?
i was so troubled, and throughout the whole day, i keep telling myself that i won't let martin down, i will not disappoint him. so right after school. i really ran. in only 20 mins, i reached home instead of the usual 40 mins. 3 mins for running from school to mrt (usual 13 mins) , 8 mins for train(usual 13 mins) , 9 mins for bus(usual 14mins) . the amazing thing is, god was helping me. there wasn't any need to wait for the buses or train at all. it must be because He knew how important this was to me. and i know how martin is important to me. and as i read his blog earlier, he seemed so helpless. he said ".who are those that really be there with me?
DangShi....Gangyi...Zhixiang...Peiru....nothing comes close, but where are they now? They are totally out of my life."
i am not. i was just away for a little while. i was never out of your life martin(: u just didn't see me. i was in the crowd, but u never called my name. but i was there all along. (:
in the end, i was late. 30 mins. because i rushed to get martin his flowers. and i was so broke i couldnt take a cab. i dont understand why he could be late too. but anyway, what's over is over. i'm sorry for flaring up at you.
and thanks for coming to martin's concert, the white musk body polish -- a wish seed i planted 2 weeks ago sprouted.
KFC FOR DINNER. catch-up with martin? other day maybe
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
i dont know if this 'll work it's magic again, this place used to be a genie paper, whatever is written down a genie would make it come true for me. but my genie seem to have run away. he dosent visit anymore, he doesnt do his job anymore. or maybe, my genie have changed his master. Or maybe, genie decides not to be genie anymore.
anyway. there's so much things to do, yet so little time. i should have accepted this fact long ago, but it's a little too late. boyfriend have decided to work his ass off, without time for himself, without time for me. actually this should be good news for me. but my calculations have shown a deficit. a deficit of laughter, care and concern.
in the meantime, i have drawn up a list of possible things that maybe genie and i could do together, and genie, i need you back:
genie, genie. come back to me. but why did u walk away in the first place?
anyway. there's so much things to do, yet so little time. i should have accepted this fact long ago, but it's a little too late. boyfriend have decided to work his ass off, without time for himself, without time for me. actually this should be good news for me. but my calculations have shown a deficit. a deficit of laughter, care and concern.
in the meantime, i have drawn up a list of possible things that maybe genie and i could do together, and genie, i need you back:
- take up a course together and make friends of our very own, we'll have a long way to go.
- castle building
- more viwawa
genie, genie. come back to me. but why did u walk away in the first place?
Monday, July 21, 2008
she was cold, shivering, and stared into space...
as much as i look as if i am good now, i am still apprehensive about the future. this feeling will not go away until i cleanse my thoughts thoroughly. or maybe until i survive the a levels ordeal.
it's scary to know that a levels is only 99 days away. and a levels, is not the only impediment in my life. u may not pose a threat to me, but i'm taking things very hard, and there's no way the turmoil within will cease to exist until i declare myself free.
then, might be the end of the world. and the end of the world, in my definition, is when nobody cares anymore; i have only a concern.
but, nevertheless, not to forget my greatest gift - boyfriend. my god sent life-long companion. (:
i shall make it happen.
it's scary to know that a levels is only 99 days away. and a levels, is not the only impediment in my life. u may not pose a threat to me, but i'm taking things very hard, and there's no way the turmoil within will cease to exist until i declare myself free.
then, might be the end of the world. and the end of the world, in my definition, is when nobody cares anymore; i have only a concern.
but, nevertheless, not to forget my greatest gift - boyfriend. my god sent life-long companion. (:
i shall make it happen.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
kai wei, i am here (:
today was the first time i saw kai wei cry.
when she told me what happened, it did not sound like a very serious matter, because i didn't experience the whole thing myself. Until today, i regretted not coming out yesterday to listen her out, maybe she bore it herself for too long, she cried.
her eyes were very red, and she became Rudolf in just a matter of minutes. she told me what happened, her voice jerking as she tried hard to catch breath after breath in the midst of weeping. she wept because of a broken trust, and the fear of a losing a bond between the friendship that took almost 3 years to establish, the instant humiliation when she knew it was all a 'joke', a joke they failed to understand that it would hurt her so much. when i thought it was easy to forgive and advised her to.
i realised it was not as easy as i thought. she was thinking of all the ways to help her 'friend in need'. she was even thinking of saving a dollar a day to help her 'friend-in-need'. (this was the most touching part of all her speech) Her voice trembled as she poured it all out, i heard her, as her heart spoke when she wasn't speaking, the ones who made her cry really meant a lot to her; i felt it all, i felt her pain, and i cried too.
when she was crying, i was afraid people might think i bullied her. Haha, no la, joking!
kai wei,
you are a real gem. don't blame yourself for what have resulted in because you did not tolerate it. just believe that things will change. understand that they do treasure you as one of them, perhaps they did not really think about the consequences; perhaps they have not realised how much you trust them that's why they did this. maybe forgiving may not seem easy, but u know you've forgiven them long ago. maybe the only problem now is how to reconcile. but don't think of it as a problem, because it is not. time will help you solve this. and maybe their initiatives will help to solve this. so don't brood over it. i don't wish to see you cry again. you made me cry too, monster.... haha. i have a house phone now. i can call you anytime. (: a $12 house phone. i'm here alright? hope i am of use! you will graduate with them, take pretty pictures, wearing ugly SP graduation suits, do stupid stunts after that, go up the stage together, it will all happen. believe that it will (:
when she told me what happened, it did not sound like a very serious matter, because i didn't experience the whole thing myself. Until today, i regretted not coming out yesterday to listen her out, maybe she bore it herself for too long, she cried.
her eyes were very red, and she became Rudolf in just a matter of minutes. she told me what happened, her voice jerking as she tried hard to catch breath after breath in the midst of weeping. she wept because of a broken trust, and the fear of a losing a bond between the friendship that took almost 3 years to establish, the instant humiliation when she knew it was all a 'joke', a joke they failed to understand that it would hurt her so much. when i thought it was easy to forgive and advised her to.
i realised it was not as easy as i thought. she was thinking of all the ways to help her 'friend in need'. she was even thinking of saving a dollar a day to help her 'friend-in-need'. (this was the most touching part of all her speech) Her voice trembled as she poured it all out, i heard her, as her heart spoke when she wasn't speaking, the ones who made her cry really meant a lot to her; i felt it all, i felt her pain, and i cried too.
when she was crying, i was afraid people might think i bullied her. Haha, no la, joking!
kai wei,
you are a real gem. don't blame yourself for what have resulted in because you did not tolerate it. just believe that things will change. understand that they do treasure you as one of them, perhaps they did not really think about the consequences; perhaps they have not realised how much you trust them that's why they did this. maybe forgiving may not seem easy, but u know you've forgiven them long ago. maybe the only problem now is how to reconcile. but don't think of it as a problem, because it is not. time will help you solve this. and maybe their initiatives will help to solve this. so don't brood over it. i don't wish to see you cry again. you made me cry too, monster.... haha. i have a house phone now. i can call you anytime. (: a $12 house phone. i'm here alright? hope i am of use! you will graduate with them, take pretty pictures, wearing ugly SP graduation suits, do stupid stunts after that, go up the stage together, it will all happen. believe that it will (:
Sunday, July 6, 2008
dashing hope
i've been struggling with some issues of late. it has been really exhausting. everyday, even in his prescence, i'd indulge in my own metaphysical world, question the meaning of my own existence. i dont need a psychologist. nor a counsellor. when i need most, is your promise that you've promised to uphold. while i've shared with you my idealistic picture of both an old man and a wrinkled lady beyond recognition, by the beach, i hope you're that old man. and of course, that disfigured woman would be invariably be referring to me, myself. i wonder if you'll put in the effort to work into my lifelong dream.
and i even wonder if i would live till then.
my unpredictable temper, and craziness have spoilt everything. sometimes i wonder if it's just my fault to have landed everything till this state. i dont know if my instincts are true. but what i am holding onto is merely a string of thread on the rope, initially, weaved so strong and sturdy; along the way, somebody cut it, and you allowed them to cut it. what's left is just a alienated me, and my dying hope to rejuvenate our diminishing love.
maybe it's only time that could tell what is going to happen. by then i hope everything that had affected us will go away. to believe that everything have a silver lining, may just be a mythical legend to inject hope into people who had lost it, probably a very very long time ago.
i'm losing it.
and i even wonder if i would live till then.
my unpredictable temper, and craziness have spoilt everything. sometimes i wonder if it's just my fault to have landed everything till this state. i dont know if my instincts are true. but what i am holding onto is merely a string of thread on the rope, initially, weaved so strong and sturdy; along the way, somebody cut it, and you allowed them to cut it. what's left is just a alienated me, and my dying hope to rejuvenate our diminishing love.
maybe it's only time that could tell what is going to happen. by then i hope everything that had affected us will go away. to believe that everything have a silver lining, may just be a mythical legend to inject hope into people who had lost it, probably a very very long time ago.
i'm losing it.
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