premonition

i wonder if my instincts ever go right. i hope it is not. i have a problem with my mind. it's telling me to let go. it's 24/7 echoing "the right thing" that i'm supposed to do. i think it's crazy. but my heart wouldnt heed the advice. it seems like i'll never learn.

maybe it's Time. but when i decide on it, it would be the day i'm emancipated from the sufferings of mankind. and i hope it will affect him in some way or another. that's all i ask for... please, at least pretend as i pretend not to be affected. then you'll be free.

i am a really bad person. i realised it. he knows. i know he knows . your giving personality, humour, scent, posture, & the future we've mentioned, shall stay with me. forever i hope.

and it's all these diminishing future with you i'm crying for, every single night. every single night, &they never fail to go away...